Estate Planning for Aging Couples: How to Protect Yourselves, Your Health, and Your Future

Aging brings wisdom, clarity, and often a deeper appreciation for the life you’ve built together. It also brings new legal, financial, and healthcare realities that many couples are unprepared for—until a crisis forces decisions to be made under pressure.

For aging couples, estate planning is no longer just about “what happens someday.” It’s about protecting independence, preserving dignity, and ensuring that the person you trust most is empowered to act when it matters most.

Whether you are married or unmarried, same-sex or different-sex, retired or still working, the right planning can prevent court involvement, family conflict, and unnecessary stress.

Below is what aging couples should do now to protect themselves and each other.

Why Estate Planning Becomes More Important as We Age

As couples get older, the risks shift from unlikely to realistic:

• Incapacity due to illness, stroke, or cognitive decline

• Increased medical decision-making

• Long-term care needs

• Financial exploitation or confusion

• Adult children with differing opinions

• Outdated documents naming the wrong decision-makers

Without proper planning, courts—not your partner—may end up making decisions about your health, finances, and care.

Estate planning allows you to stay in control, even when you can’t speak for yourself.

1. Health Care Planning: Protecting Medical Decisions and Dignity

Health Care Proxy

A Health Care Proxy allows you to name someone—usually your spouse or partner—to make medical decisions if you are unable to do so.

For aging couples, this is essential to:

• Avoid hospital disputes

• Prevent excluded partners or stepchildren

• Ensure continuity of care

Without this document, medical providers may default to biological relatives or court-appointed guardians.

Living Will / Advance Directive

This document outlines your wishes regarding:

• Life-sustaining treatment

• Artificial nutrition and hydration

• End-of-life care

It removes uncertainty and conflict during emotionally difficult moments and ensures your values—not assumptions—guide your care.

HIPAA Authorization

Even if your partner is your health care agent, they may still be blocked from accessing medical information without a HIPAA authorization.

This document allows:

• Open communication with doctors

• Access to medical records

• Coordination among providers and caregivers

2. Financial Protection: Preparing for Incapacity Before It Happens

Durable Power of Attorney

A Durable Power of Attorney allows your chosen person to manage finances if you become incapacitated.

This may include:

• Paying bills

• Managing investments

• Filing taxes

• Handling insurance claims

• Protecting against fraud

Without it, your partner may need to go to court to gain authority—an expensive, public, and stressful process.

Review of Assets and Beneficiaries

As you age, it’s critical to review:

• Retirement accounts

• Life insurance

• Bank accounts

• Payable-on-death designations

Outdated beneficiaries are one of the most common and costly estate planning mistakes, especially in blended families or second marriages.

3. Estate Planning Documents That Work Together

Wills and Trusts

A will alone is often insufficient for aging couples.

Many benefit from a revocable living trust, which can:

• Avoid probate

• Provide continuity if one partner becomes incapacitated

• Protect privacy

• Simplify asset management

Your estate plan should also address:

• Who inherits assets

• When and how distributions are made

• How disputes are avoided

Planning for the Surviving Partner

An effective plan ensures the surviving partner:

• Has immediate access to assets

• Can remain in the home

• Is not financially dependent on adult children

• Is protected from challenges by extended family

4. Planning for Long-Term Care and Aging in Place

As couples age, questions often arise about:

• Home care

• Assisted living

• Nursing care

• Medicaid planning

Early planning allows couples to:

• Preserve assets

• Maximize care options

• Reduce stress on each other

• Avoid crisis-driven decisions

Even if long-term care feels far off, planning earlier provides far more options.

5. Protecting Against Family Conflict and Court Intervention

Aging often brings well-meaning—but conflicting—opinions from adult children or relatives.

Clear estate planning:

• Prevents guardianship proceedings

• Reduces family disputes

• Clarifies who is in charge

• Protects partners from being sidelined

This is especially important for:

• Second marriages

• Blended families

• Unmarried couples

• LGBTQ+ couples with chosen family structures

6. When Should Aging Couples Update Their Plans?

You should review your estate plan if:

• It was created more than 3–5 years ago

• One partner’s health has changed

• You retired or sold a business

• You moved or bought/sold property

• Family relationships changed

• Laws affecting estates or healthcare changed

Estate planning is not “set it and forget it.” It should evolve with you.

Planning Is an Act of Partnership

For aging couples, estate planning is not about preparing for the end—it’s about protecting the life you are living now.

It ensures:

• You care for each other with authority

• Decisions are made calmly, not in crisis

• Your wishes are respected

• Your legacy reflects your values

How Adelman Bodner Helps Aging Couples Plan with Confidence

At Adelman Bodner, we work with aging couples to create estate plans that prioritize clarity, dignity, and protection—now and in the years ahead.

We help couples:

• Plan for incapacity before it happens

• Protect surviving partners

• Avoid court involvement

• Navigate complex family dynamics

• Age with control and peace of mind

If you are an aging couple and want to ensure your future is protected, the best time to plan is before you need it.